I was looking through one of my scrapbook albums recently and I came across pictures I had taken on a vacation. A couple of years ago our family took a ski trip to Copper Mountain, Colorado. This was me and my children's first ski trip. My husband,who grew up skiing, was anxious to get our sons on the slopes for their first skiing adventure.
Thanks to many years spent balancing on hockey skates, the kids took to skiing in no time flat (I think the "no fear" attitude that comes with youth had something to do with it too). They loved skiing so much that we had to practically drag the kids off of the slopes at the end of each day.
I, on the other hand, couldn't get off the slopes and into my snow boots fast enough. I could handle the bunny slopes just fine; maybe even a green course or two, but anything steeper and I was "toast".
Allow me to explain. I have several minor phobias. Small tight spaces make it hard for me to breathe, snakes and rodents can make me scream and run for the hills, but it's a fear of heights that can do me in completely.
I was gung-ho the first day while skiing the fairly easy green hills. "I can do this," I'd say to myself. "Everyone skis- why shouldn't I," I'd think to myself. All of those positive comments quickly vanished by the time I decided to try my first blue hill with my husband and kids. "Come on, Mom, you'll do great," my kids encouraged me (I think pressured me would be a better word).
By the time we got off the skilift I thought my heart was going to beat right out of my chest. One by one, my kids took off down the mountain. My husband stayed by my side and began coaching me down. I'd go a little way and stop,then go a little further and stop again. What was the hold up?
With each little hill I'd come to, I couldn't see what was beyond. I couldn't see what was over the next rise. I imagined a huge dropoff or some other danger awaiting me. So, after awhile, I sat down in the snow and burst into tears (which quickly froze on my eyelashes). The fear of the unknown had completely paralyzed me and I refused to ski any further. My husband tried to talk me through my fear saying things like "you'll be fine", "there's nothing over the hill that will hurt you", "I'll be right beside you." Nothing he said would help, and, much to his dismay, I took off my skis and proceeded to walk down the mountain. By the time I made it to the bottom of the mountain I vowed to never ski again in my life.
My kids enjoy reminding me about my skiing "adventure" every now and then. "Mom, remember the time when you walked down the mountain because you were afraid?" "Remember when you thought you were going ot fall over the edge?" and on and on they go.
I can look back on that trip and laugh now. I must have looked pretty funny walking down the mountain with my skis in my arms and mascara frozen on my cheeks.
Just like HE does quite often, the Lord taught me a lesson through that situation.
How often do the unknowns in life paralyze me with fear? How often do I refuse to go any further because I can't see what's on the other side? How often do I take my "skis off" and take the easy way out of situations instead of working through them?
What if one of my kids or husband gets in an accident? What if our company goes under? What if me or one of my loved ones gets cancer? What if? What if? What if? All are unknowns.
It's time for me to trust Him. He has everything under control. Nothing catches Him by surprise. He knows the beginning from the end and all that comes in between. Just because I can't see the outcome of something doesn't mean He can't. If something negative happens, then I must trust that "it" passed through His fingers first and He has allowed it. He was right there beside me up on that mountain and He is right beside me here in my daily life. He is with me wherever I go.
"Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9 Amplified Bible)
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