Fear of the Unknown

I was looking through one of my scrapbook albums recently and I came across pictures I had taken on a vacation. A couple of years ago our family took a ski trip to Copper Mountain, Colorado.  This was me and my children's first ski trip.  My husband,who grew up skiing, was anxious to get our sons on the slopes for their first skiing adventure.
Thanks to many years spent balancing on hockey skates, the kids took to skiing in no time flat  (I think the "no fear" attitude that comes with youth had something to do with it too). They loved skiing so much that we had to practically drag the kids off of the slopes at the end of each day.
I, on the other hand, couldn't get off the slopes and into my snow boots fast enough.  I could handle the bunny slopes just fine; maybe even a green course or two, but anything steeper and I was "toast".  
Allow me to explain.  I have several minor phobias. Small tight spaces make it hard for me to breathe, snakes and rodents can make me scream and run for the hills, but it's a fear of heights that can do me in completely. 
I was  gung-ho the first day while skiing the fairly easy green hills.  "I can do this," I'd say to myself.  "Everyone skis- why shouldn't I," I'd think to myself.  All of those positive comments quickly vanished by the time I decided to try my first blue hill with my husband and kids.  "Come on, Mom, you'll do great," my kids encouraged me (I think pressured me would be a better word).
By the time we got off the skilift I thought my heart was going to beat right out of my chest.  One by one, my kids took off down the mountain.  My husband stayed by my side and began coaching me down.  I'd go a little way and stop,then go a little further and stop again.  What was the hold up?  
With each little hill I'd come to, I couldn't see what was beyond.  I couldn't see what was over the next rise.  I imagined a huge dropoff or some other danger awaiting me. So, after awhile, I sat down in the snow and burst into tears (which quickly froze on my eyelashes). The fear of the unknown had completely paralyzed me and I refused to ski any further.  My husband tried to talk me through my fear saying things like "you'll be fine", "there's nothing over the hill that will  hurt you", "I'll be right beside you."  Nothing he said would help, and, much to his dismay, I took off my skis and proceeded to walk down the mountain. By the time I made it to the bottom of the mountain I vowed to never ski again in my life. 
My kids enjoy reminding me about my skiing "adventure" every now and then.  "Mom, remember the time when you walked down the mountain because you were afraid?" "Remember when you thought you were going ot fall over the edge?" and on and on they go.
I can look back on that trip and laugh now.  I must have looked pretty funny walking down the mountain with my skis in my arms and mascara frozen on my cheeks.
Just like HE does quite often, the Lord taught me a lesson through that situation.
How often do the unknowns in life paralyze me with fear?  How often do I refuse to go any further because I can't see what's on the other side?  How often do I take my "skis off" and take the easy way out of situations instead of working through them?
What if one of my kids or husband gets in an accident? What if our company goes under? What if me or one of my loved ones gets cancer? What if? What if? What if?  All are unknowns. 
It's time for me to trust Him.  He has everything under control.  Nothing catches Him by surprise.  He knows the beginning from the end and all that comes in between.  Just because I can't see the outcome of something doesn't mean He can't.  If something negative happens, then I must trust that "it" passed through His fingers first and He has allowed it.  He was right there beside me up on that mountain and He is right beside me here in my daily life.  He is with me wherever I go.

"Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9 Amplified Bible)

Letting Go

There are a goose and gander that have made our lake their swimming pool. My husband thinks that they're an annoyance, but I think they're wonderful (their messy droppings can be pretty disgusting though). With their necks arched in such a pretty way they look dignified as they swim from one end of our lake to the other.

Just this past month they've added a few new members to their family-four goslings. Mother and father accompany their babies all around the lake now. I like to think that they're giving them swimming lessons, but in reality, goslings know how to swim the minute they're born.

As the summer rolls along these goslings will begin to look more and more like a mature goose. They'll begin losing their fuzzy downy feathers and begin growing flight feathers. One day in the fall, they'll be on their own and flying south for the winter. This cycle of infancy to maturity is all a part of nature.

Since these new additions have arrived I've noticed that the geese have become quite territorial. I dare not go near their babies for fear that they'll attack. Mother and father goose will raise quite a ruckus if I come within twenty yards of their precious little birds. It seems as if they'll protect them at all cost.

I suppose...no, I know that I'm like them. The minute I delivered each of my babies I had a "don't you mess with my precious kid" attitude. The Mama Bear came out in me in an instant, and to this day, shows no sign of leaving. The thought of someone doing harm to my children either physically, mentally, or through words breaks my heart. Just like the geese on our lake, I want to protect my kids at all cost.

I know that sooner or later I'll need to release my protective grip on my kids and let them experience life on their own. I can't always be there to protect them from harm. The cycle of infancy to maturity is inevitable and all a part of life. My boys are maturing right before my eyes and one day they will be young men going off to experience life in high school, college, and what lays beyond.

When that happens I need not fear. I know that this is part of life's plan-part of His plan. I can rest knowing that there will be (and has alway been) Someone there to watch over them.

"The LORD Himself watches over you! The LORD stands beside you as a protective shade. The sun will not hurt you by day, nor the moon at night. The LORD keeps you from all evil and preserves your life. The LORD keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever." ~Psalm 121:5-8

Please watch this cute video below....its about ducks and not geese, but it goes along with the idea of us mothers protecting our young.

The Master Gardener

Yesterday my son Jacob and I planted sunflower seeds in the field near our cabin. We planted seeds that will produce giant sunflowers that can grow up to 8 feet in height. At maturity,the face (the seeds) and petals get so big that they're almost the size of a paperplate. I love these majestic looking flowers. Late this summer into the early fall, they'll stand at attention, far above the other flowers that I've planted in the field.

Before we planted the seeds, we went off in search of the perfect spot for them. A spot that was not too rocky and that would get plenty of sunshine since these flowers thrive in the open sun. Once we found just the right spot, I dug the holes and Jacob put a seed in each of them and covered them with soil. He gave them some water and our job was done.

I can't wait to see those flowers all abloom this fall. Until I do, I'll have to make sure that they are taken care of. If our summers are as dry as they usually are, I'll have to make sure that they get plenty of water from my watercan. I'll also have to make sure that the plants aren't overtaken by weeds. That's about all I can do-the rest will be up to good ole' Mother Nature.

Thinking about these sunflowers makes me think about my children. I consider them "seeds" that my husband and I have planted. We have a responsibilty to make sure that they are well taken care of. We'll need to give them plenty of water (love, correction, Biblical teaching, validation, prayer, encouragement, etc). We'll also need to make sure the "weeds" of this world don't overtake them (peer pressure, compromising of beliefs, etc). That's about all we can do-the rest will be up to Him.

I can only see what's going on with my plants above the ground. I don't know what is going on down deep in the soil underneath. The same is true with my children. I can only see what is going on with my children on a surface level. He knows what is going on deep inside of each of them and, I can rest assured, He has everything under control.

So, I'll keep on watering, weeding, and tending my plants and trusting the Master Gardener.

"My job was to plant the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God, not we, who made it grow." ~1 Cor 3:6

HE Believes In Me

"God divinely appointed you as your child's parent." I heard this statement on a radio show as I was driving my kids to hockey practice yesterday. Such a simple statement, but one that really "packs a punch". The timing for me to hear it was perfect. I wouldn't put it past Him if He arranged for me to have my radio on at just the right time and just the right station. He does things like that....:)


I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. This mothering job I have to two teenagers and one preteenager is all new to me and I've yet to find a self-help manual that tells me just how to do it. How do I stay patient with them when wrestling takes up three-fourths of their day?


What do I do when I hear them call each other "idiot" or "stupid" for what seems like the hundreth time? How do I handle the teasing and bad language that they tell me goes on in the locker rooms? When do I step in and give my opinion and when do I let them handle problems on their own? My list of "how's", "what's", and "when's" could go on and on.


Hearing the statement on the radio made me realize that since He devinely appointed me as their mom, then He must believe that I can do this "mothering thing". He must have already known that I would make mistakes, that I would come up short,that I would have some victories and plenty of defeats. Despite all of this, He considered me worthy enough to entrust my boys to me for a season.


Entrust. I looked this word up in the dictionary and here's what it said:"to charge or invest with a trust or reponsibility". There is no one who has a higher authority than Him and if my Heavenly Father has invested a trust in me, then I know I can do this thing! If He believes in me (and He does), then that's all I need to know.


BTW, there are no perfect parenting self-help books out there (believe me-I've looked), but there is one perfect Book available for anything I will encounter. It's called the Bible.





"Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord. Lift your hands toward him for the life of your young children." ~Lamentations 2:19

A Lesson From My Dogs

Mornings are my favorite time of the day. I'll wake up very early while the house is quiet to meet one-on-one with my Heavenly Father. No one in the house is awake yet to distract me. I need this time....I crave this time...I prioritize this time. This is the time when He redirects my thoughts, when He corrects me, when He encourages me, when He gives me peace, when He gives me His plans for me for that day...you get the picture.

This morning my two dogs,Patrick and Spooky, taught me a lesson. Every morning they follow me throughout the house. They are right there at my heels while I brush my teeth, take my vitamins, and make my coffee among other things. They eventually follow me into my library or out to my deck where they sit at my feet, sigh contentedly and wait expectantly for my next move. This got me thinking. How often do I follow my Father around in the ordinary events of the day? How often do I sit at His feet and just wait? How often am I satisfied in just Him?

I'd like to say that my answer to each of these questions is 100% of the time, but I'd be lying. Thankfully, He is patient with me. He gives me do-overs constantly. He knows where my heart wants to be. He sees my life from the beginning to the end and all the days in between . I am a work in progress. :)

"Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives." ~Psalm 90:14